Pizza
by Tishie
Summary: Oh this is the night, it's a beautiful night. And we call it playing-video-games-while-eating-refrigerated-pizza-notte. Kyle and Cartman have a little unexpected "moment" during video game night. Kyman!


_A/N: This would be my first South Park work of my OTP! Please go easy on me. And I apologize in advance for any racist jokes I make Cartman say. It's all for characterization, believe me._

_The story takes place when the boys are twelve years old._

* * *

A year has passed since the brunet decided that Kyle wasn't such a sneaky little rat. And in turn, Kyle came to recognise that maybe he and the fat racist bastard could actually get along.

This dawned upon him on one Saturday afternoon. Kenny was busy taking his sister to the dentist for an appointment, and Stan was out with his family for their grandpa's monthly visits. Kyle was particularly bored, as his free time usually consisted of him plotting against whatever Cartman had planned during the week. But ever since their truce, he hadn't quite figured out how that would affect his normally busy weekends.

After about ten minutes of internal struggle, he decided to call the fat boy.

After a few rings, the line picked up. "…What do you want _Kahl._"

"Hey fat ass. What're you up to?"

"Well if you _really _wanna know, you nosy Jew, I am currently playing my new kickass Xbox game Avengers Full Combat."

"Oh no way! How did you get your grubby little hands on that game? It's been sold out all week!"

"Well if you _really_ wanna know-"

"No I take that back! Jesus if I have to hear about you freezing yourself again… Can I maybe… play?"

"As long as I get to use Iron man every single time, you're on."

"That's no fair you asswipe!"

Kyle proceeded to walk towards Cartman's house wearing his orange coat, a black hoodie, baggy jeans and a grey shirt. He rang the doorbell and while waiting, smiling inwardly as he realized that Cartman was actually pretty fun to be with when given the opportunity.

The door swung open, revealing a brunet in a yellow t-shirt and dark blue Terrance and Phillip boxers.

"Hey _sweetheart_, I was just getting worried!" Cartman's face expressed a look of great concern, a mask Kyle was all too familiar with. He rolled his eyes, inviting himself in while removing his coat.

"Glad to be home, _honey. _Why aren't you wearing your frilly apron? You know how I love that frilly shit on you." Kyle decided to play along for a change, smirking as Cartman was taken off guard.

"Well I simply _can't_ wear it since I'm still in the middle of slaughtering our little kosher meat babies for dinner, _love-muffin_."

Kyle let out a guffaw as he elbowed Cartman playfully. "You'd make one hell of a Jewish wife, Cartman."

"Nah. I bet you'd look **way** better in a frilly apron"

The boys playfully shoved each other towards the living room and collapsed on the sofa. They proceeded to play Cartman's new fighting game for around three hours, until Kyle's stomach started to churn in emptiness. "Fuck I haven't eaten anything decent all day. Mind if I raid your fridge? It's probably filled to the brim anyway."

"Fuck you, Kahl. Don't bite the hand that feeds you, haven't you heard of that before?"

"I'll be using my own hands, thank you very much. Unless you **want** to feed me, that's totally cool too. You can do it while I finish the last level in story mode since you can't control Captain America for shit"

"That's not what I meant you son of a-"

The red head stood up and made his way to the kitchen, completely ignoring the flustered Cartman that followed him. He opened the fridge and spotted two slices of pizza.

"Perfect!" He grabbed the plate and turned around, meeting the eyes of a very irritated brunet.

"Since when did you think that walking around my house and taking whatever the fuck you wanted was considered ok?"

"Dude you sneak into my bedroom at night doing god-knows-what without my consent; so I think I'm entitled to a few slices of goddamn pizza."

Cartman opened his mouth to say something, but decided to back off since he could easily order another box if he wanted to. That and he really didn't feel like arguing with the Jew since he realized he honestly **can't** finish his game's story mode all on his own. Defeated, he simply deadpanned as he pointed at the slices of pizza.

"…Aren't you gonna heat that up?"

Kyle shrugged as he took a bite. "I don't really care, either way."

Cartman was completely horrified, eyeing the red head as if he was ingesting human feces with a spoon.

"That's fucking gross!" The fat boy trudged towards Kyle and grabbed the plate, shoving the slices in a toaster and turning the timer as he did. Kyle remained still, not sure what to make of Cartman's sudden burst of kindness.

"I personally believe refrigerated pizza is way more awesome than when you get it fresh. That way, you get to toast it for the second time, making the crust like… super crunchy. It's so fucking sweet."

Kyle watched Cartman stare at the toasting pizza slices with utter amusement. He got a stool and sat beside the brunet, their sides touching as they watched the cheese sizzle in the heat.

"Only **you** could be entertained by toasting pizza, fat boy."

"Ay! If you don't watch closely, some cheese might fall off and ruin the goddamn toaster. That thing is a bitch to clean."

"You… Clean?"

"Well only the shit I cook with because if you leave the stuff dirty it'll affect the taste-"

"YOU **COOK**?"

Cartman stumbled to the side at the sheer volume of Kyle's voice. Man, he knew the Jew could scream but at that proximity-

"Jesus, Kyle! You just fucking **murdered** my left ear you sonovabitch!"

"Sorry, I just… didn't expect you to be able to do any house work. Don't you enslave your mom to do everything _for_ you?"

"Well fuck, Jew. _Mehm_ isn't always around and I get these craving at night and if it means having to cook it myself-"

*TING* the toaster's time went off.

Cartman quickly took this chance to stop talking as he grabbed his red oven mitt and tongs. He then proceeded to carefully clamp the slices and neatly placed them on the plate.

Kyle just slumped in the stool, wide-eyed at what he was witnessing. The fat boy, unaware of his sudden uncharacteristic display, placed the oven mitt back and started dish washing the metal tongs.

"Well? Aren't you gonna eat it, you ass-munching ginger? Or are you waiting for it to cool so I can heat the bastard up again until it's as black as Token?"

Hearing the sudden slur from Cartman snapped Kyle back into reality. "Shut the hell up, Cartman."

He looked at the pizza, and begrudgingly took a slice. "And… Thanks. I guess"

The red head took a bite, the sound of crunching following every movement of his jaw. He swallowed, a satisfied grin appearing on his face right after. "Damn Cartman, you were right. Crunchy pizza beats cold refrigerator pizza any day." After patting his hands dry, the brunet leaned against the counter opposite of Kyle as he watched the Jew consume his toaster creation.

"I **told** you, Kahl. You should really listen to me from time to time."

"As long as it's about food... "Kyle finished the remainder of his cheesy delight before hovering his hand over to the next victim.

He suddenly remembered a suggestion the certain brunet gave a while back. Thinking it was worth a shot; Kyle grabbed the fat boy's hand and placed the plate onto it with the other.

"If you want to unlock Captain America's super smash form in story mode, you'll have to feed me."

Cartman furrowed his brows as he slammed the plate on the counter, his cheeks reddening by the second. "I am NOT feeding you, asshole!"

"Suit yourself. Have fun buying the cheat encoder from Best Buy for $39.99."

Kyle shoved his hands into his hoodie and turned around, before being held back by the grip of Cartman's thick fingers.

"F-FINE, Kahl! If you want me to shove pizza up your Jew mouth so bad, I'll fucking do it."

"No. Feed me properly, and I promise to unlock Hawkeye's story as a bonus." Kyle slyly suggested, loving the fact that he had the upper hand in this one.

Cartman tightened his grip, muttering under his breath about how Kyle was such a _faggy-no-good-triple-J_. The boys then proceeded to the living room and sat on the couch, the red head grabbing the controller as he did.

He started the game, hunched over as his elbows rested on his knees in concentration. Cartman watched nervously as the first fight of the story mode commenced.

"You aren't seriously gonna-"

As if it were a signal, the Jew opened his mouth wide and raised his brows, although his eyes were still at the game.

"God Kahl you're such a fag!" Reluctantly, Cartman slid the pizza through Kyle's teeth and into his mouth as he took a bite.

The brunet rolled his eyes, yanking the pizza out of Kyle's mouth.

"Fuck. Everything tastes better when you're fed by your arch nemesis. It's like a cheesy orgasm."

The fat boy chuckled. "Yeah, **you** would know what a cheesy orgasm feels like I'm sure"

"Shut the fuck up asshole and FEED ME."

A few more levels and bites passed, as the two of them started getting more and more engrossed in the game. With Captain America's health on the red and a boss battle waiting just around the corner, Kyle and Cartman were definitely on the edge.

"Jesus Christ Kyle you better not die in this round!"

"I-I know, Cartman! Just… Keep feeding me so I don't end up biting my tongue. It's happened before"

"Whatever Jew, just cream that Loki motherfucker!"

The final battle had started; luckily Kyle was able to get a health boost so his life bar was at half and half. Cartman mechanically let Kyle take a bite, unknowingly leaving a trail of mozzarella from the corner of Kyle's mouth to the pizza.

Feeling his stomach churn in tension, he allowed himself a bite off of what was left of the slice. With both eyes glued onto the TV screen, the boys felt something tugging at the corners of their mouths.

Kyle and Cartman started moving their heads towards wherever the cheese trail had lead them, unable to redirect their vision away from the game as they were in deep concentration. The string of mozzarella was surprisingly tough and neither of them wanted to cut the line off from sweet cheesy goodness, so they kept lapping at the corners of their mouths until the cheese trail ended-

-In a kiss.

It was a chaste kiss, Cartman's soft lips against Kyle's rather dry ones.

Wide-eyed green orbs met enlarged dark brown ones and after around four seconds, both bodies repelled like opposite poles of a magnet.

Kyle covered his mouth with a sleeve as his cheeks burned with colour, Cartman was practically in the same state only that his mouth was wide open and both hands supported him against the floor.

They both licked their lips and blinked a couple of times, as if trying to see if it was all just a very _sad_ nightmare.

"GAME OVER!"

Suddenly, their eyes were drawn to the blinking lights of the TV screen as it indicated their virtual demise and having to restart from level one.

After a rather long and awkward silence, Cartman looked away and decided to break it.

"Dude, you said you'd win."

"I'll… I'll play the rounds again."

The boys miraculously found the strength to hoist themselves onto the couch like nothing happened. No words left their mouths for a good fifty minutes, until Kyle had managed to beat the game.

"Told you I'd beat it."

"Took you long enough you lousy Jew. Now excuse me while I scrub my lips clean with sand paper."

"Hey, _you're_ the one who can't keep his mouth to himself, fat ass!"

"Excuse me, _Kahl_. You're the one who wanted me to feed you in the first place; you probably _knew_ that would happen!"

"I told you to feed ME, not that fat ass mouth of yours!"

"I just wanted a bite Kahl, was that so fucking wrong?"

"It was definitely wrong... So fucking wrong!" Kyle gripped his red curls and lowered his head in frustration. _But why did it feel so fucking right?_

"…Did it feel wrong?"

"-What?"

Kyle immediately perked up and glanced at the brunet, unable to meet his gaze since Cartman looked away in embarrassment.

"Were my lips like, scaly or some shit?"

"N-no, dude. They were actually…" The red head, with cheeks as red as his hair, looked away as he whispered- "…kinda _soft_." He shook his head as the gravity of those words suddenly brought him back to reality.

"But seriously dude, that _never_ happened."

Cartman narrowed his dark eyes onto Kyle's; feeling a tad bit disappointed at the other boy's chosen decision.

"Y-yeah, sure."

Kyle got up and closed the Xbox. He looked around for any sign of his orange coat, until he spotted it on Cartman's arm as he offered it to him. He nodded, silently thanking his large friend before putting it on.

Just as Kyle was about to leave, Cartman's hand gripped him on the shoulder.

"And for the record, your lips were super dry and gross."

"WHAT? They are not!" Kyle immediately patted his fingers against his mouth, trying to feel them out for himself.

"They are so seriously dry. You need to slap some lube on there or something."

"Fuck you, fat ass! How could you be so sure?"

"Well I felt them for myself, didn't I?" The fat boy crossed his arms and smirked, leaning against his door frame as if inviting the boy back in again.

Green eyes rolled at the unexpected challenge the brunet had offered him. Kyle looked around for any sort of human life, and once he realized it was clear, grabbed the collar of the fat boy's shirt and kissed him.

As soon as their lips met, their hearts started exploding with little tingly feelings like you would get when you dip your feet into a cold pool for the first time in a hot summer day. It was so surreal, the feeling reminding Kyle of when that Rebecca girl kissed him for the first time, and when Cartman was suddenly smooched by Wendy. It was mixed though, as if the sparks that flew when they were at war with each other went hand in hand with this new sensation.

After what seemed like an eternity for the boys, their eyes opened and lips parted. The sudden rush of blood onto their cheeks was clearly visible, and it relieved them both to have noticed this on each other.

"Well? Are they dry, asshole?" Kyle as he smirked, a brow raised teasingly.

"Not anymore they're not, duh." Cartman met with the same face, shifting his gaze from green eyes to pink lips and back again.

A comfortable silence passed between the two when suddenly the cold evening wind of Colorado sent shivers through their skin.

"…I'll be back to finish Hawkeye's story next weekend." Kyle shoved his hands into his pockets and started his walk home.

"You better not make me feed you again you greedy Jew!" Cartman yelled.

Kyle suddenly found himself ear to ear with a smile, as he flipped the fat boy off with a gloved hand.

* * *

_A/N: Aaaand… There you have it! My very first Kyman fanfic. I've only read like two or three stories wherein these boys remained light hearted and fun, so I wanted to contribute to that. I also love playing around with childish innocence mixed in with such crude language. I'm sort of sick of seeing so many angst-ridden stories about these two. I mean, seriously, these two have got to be one of the funniest couples out there. Why not exploit that? Haha. (That, and I have no ability to write angst properly)_

_Be sure to read my upcoming story, "Kyle's Blanket"!_

_And, __**REVIEWS**__ are greatly appreciated :)_


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